I want to love you!
by akinaminaru
Summary: Story plays after Episode 22 "As I Lay Dying" and takes place in Nara, Japan. Ash and Eiji are building up a new life in Japan and try to strengthen their relationship.


**THEN**

The last time has been troublesome and therefore tiring. Torture and pain, fear and madness … That's what Ash and Eiji left behind. They left New York shortly after Eiji got wounded as he wanted to protect Ash.

It's been hard getting a visa for Ash so he could stay in Japan without needing to go back to America ever again. Ibe used all his connections to make this possible.

For the first few months Eiji and Ash stood at Eiji's parental home. Even though they knew that Ash put their son into dangerous situations they welcomed him warmheartedly. Eiji's parents learned to know everything that happened to him and Ash, but especially to Ash and ever since they took care of him like he was a full family member.

After moving out into their own flat Eiji and Ash didn't leave the flat for weeks, because Ash had still been pretty anxious about his new surroundings. Also, it would have been pretty hard for him to not understand anyone. Eiji did his best to teach Japanese to Ash and to slowly bring all the grammar and "Japanese politeness" closer to him. Although it took some time Ash learned the language very quickly, since he was really smart.

In the weeks after Eiji and Ash moved out, Eiji's parents and Ibe handled everything for them. They ran errands and brought everything to their flat, so that both of them could settle down in peace.

Because of these past weeks Ash and Eiji grew even more close and finally realized their true feelings for each other completely. Shortly after everyone near to them knew they loved each other unconditionally and were made for one another.

Ash started to feel much safer around Eiji and after some time they slept in the same bed and dressed in front of each other. It was difficult for Eiji to approach Ash in a sexual way because on the one hand he was quite shy because he hadn't had a relationship before and on the other hand, he was so kindhearted and hesitant because he didn't want to force Ash to do anything he didn't want to do. But after some time, they started to slowly deepen their physical relationship while also intensifying their interhuman feelings for one another further.

 **NOW**

 _Today was the very first day Ash and Eiji themselves left their flat. Eiji planned a whole tour for the day, so that he could show Ash all the beautiful places and his personal favourite café on Mount Wakakusa._

First of all, Eiji took Ash to Naramachi - a former merchant district with several traditional residential buildings, warehouses and museums. While walking through the narrow alleys Ash slowly but surely brushed aside his caution and his restlessness. Eiji noticed this small progress and couldn't help but smile at Ash and say: "I guess I've never seen you this calm before. I'm glad." Ash took a step forward so that he could stand in front of Eiji. He looked at him with his typical gaze, then smiled and replied: "I'm glad too. That's all thanks to you Eiji." He took Eiji's hand and then they continued to stroll through the alleys. Ash asked many questions about the buildings, the architecture and the history of Nara and Eiji tried to answer all of them.

 _After some time, the two took the bus to Nara Park, the second spot on Eiji's agenda. Around fifty minutes later they arrived at the entrance to the park._

Eiji remained at the entrance so that he could tell Ash about the deer that lived in this park. "It may sound odd but they live here like there wasn't a big city outside the woods. The deer are free and aren't afraid of people at all. Way back in New York people always referred to you as " _lynx_ " but for me you're more alike with those deer by now." Ash gazed at Eiji making him feel like he said something wrong. So, he explained his words. "I didn't want to say you're weak or something like that. I just wanted to state how happy I am that you aren't afraid anymore. That you don't feel like checking your surroundings every second. You got calmer and with that even more pretty." Ash stood still. He replied without overthinking: "Eiji, I didn't mean to make you explain your words. But I'm glad you did. I never thought I'd ever be calm. I never thought I'd start to trust a person as much as I trust you now. You made me change. You made me love my life. You made me love myself and don't feel disgust while watching my face and body in the mirror. Thanks for bolstering my back and for not backing away ever, not even while you had to go through all the shit because of me. Thank you for staying by my side. Thanks for showing me true love."

Eiji couldn't help but start crying tears of joy because of Ash's kind words. Ash didn't say anything more. He just took Eiji's hands, pulled him closer and hugged him tight. Some minutes passed before Eiji calmed down. He lifted his head to look into those beautiful green eyes and almost sank into them. Ash brought Eiji back to reality with a kiss, only to be interrupted by a deer as it nudged him from behind.

 _Once they finished feeding the deer with apple pomace, they started their way to the Kasuga-Taisha shrine._

"Eiji, why is this path seamed with stony lanterns? Where are you taking me? It looks kinda scary." Ash couldn't help but becoming a bit anxious in this surrounding. For him it seemed like a path to honor decedents. Eiji tightened his grip on Ash's hand and said: "I'm taking you to a big memorial for all people that died in the last world war. People say that you get haunted if you don't thank them for their mission in war." Ash never thought a story like that could scare him, but through this one he felt uneasy. But still the two followed the way further and further.

After a few minutes they arrived at the Kasuga-Taisha shrine and Ash stared wonderstruck. Eiji admiringly stared at Ash while he tried to figure out how such beautiful, not gloomy buildings could be a memorial for the deaths of so many people. He wanted to ask so many questions and as he turned to Eiji he realized that he stared at him with so much love in his eyes. "Ash, I'm sorry but I lied about the stony lanterns and the true meaning of this place because I felt the urge to tease you. This is a Shintō-shrine called " _Kasuga-Taisha_ " and it shall honor the local Kami which are called Ujigami." Ash wanted to look angrily at Eiji but he couldn't. He just felt so much love for him that he completely ignored the urge to tease Eiji too.

As they followed the path further to the entrance of the shrine, they held each other's hand tightly. While Ash lionized the buildings, Eiji told Ash everything he knew about the shrine: "It is part of the UNESCO World Heritage Site and according to legend, it was built in 768. The main halls are called " _Honden_ ", they are eponymous for the architectural style " _kasuga-zukuri_ ". Throughout history, all buildings were destroyed and rebuilt. _Ame-no-koyane_ , one of the four main kami, is supposedly like the other kami here, one of the ancestors of the Fujiwara family and thus their Ujigami. But there are still a large number of side shrines for an even larger number of kami on the terrain of this shrine."

Ash hung on his every word until Eiji stopped walking. Ash realized that the stony lanterns were now complemented by bronze lanterns. Hanging side by side on the canopies at different heights, they seemed to be swaying in the wind at any moment and ringing like bells. However, nothing disturbed the absolute tranquility of this place.

Eiji took a step closer to Ash to explain the silence: "We're near the main shrine. Let us head there but we need to keep the silence. Just copy what I do and make a wish at the end. Here are five yen, keep them for later." Ash remained silent and nodded.

After that Eiji led Ash to the cleansing place. First of all, he washed his left and then his right hand. As second, he put water in his left hand and cleaned his mouth. As third, he washed his left hand again and cleaned the trowel right after. Ash did the same.

At the main shrine the two each threw five yen into the chest and rang the bell three times. Then they bowed twice and clapped their hand two times. Ash looked at Eiji for further "instructions" but as he saw that Eiji stood still, with his eyes closed, he knew he had to make his wish and he knew exactly what he was going to wish for. As he finished his wish, he looked at Eiji and then the two simultaneously bowed a last time. While walking away from the main shrine both remained silent for a few minutes.

"Ash, I'd like to take you to my favorite café now. I hope you aren't too tired?" Ash looked at Eiji, still impressed about the amazing feeling he got at the shrine. "No, I'm not. How could I be tired of spending time with you ever? I'd like to get to know as much of your favorite places as possible. Take my hand and bring me there, my love." Eiji smiled at Ash, knowing that he was the one who was loved unconditionally by him and that Ash was the one who was completely loved by him.

 _Eiji took Ash's hand and guided him to his favorite café on Mount Wakakusa. On their way they didn't talk much and just enjoyed their togetherness._

"It's the only building up here. I hope you're going to like it." said Eiji while walking towards the café's entry. Over the door there was a lovely self-made shop sign that said "Dear Café".

Eiji walked to the bar and starred at a woman until she turned around and screamed: _"_ Is this really you Eiji? It's been so long!" She ran around the bar and hugged Eiji tight. "Hey Yuriko, yes it's me. I am also happy to see you again." As she released Eiji she noticed Ash. "Yuriko, this is my boyfriend Ash. Ash, this is Yuriko, the daughter of one of my mother's childhood friends and also my childhood friend." Yuriko eyed Ash from head to toe. "Eiji as you said boyfriend, you weren't kidding, were you? Because if you were, I'd definitely snatch this cutie from you." Ash looked at her and said "It's nice to meet you and yes it's true. We are a couple and we love each other." Hearing this Yuriko smiled and replied "I'm glad. I can tell by the look in your eyes that your words are honest." She looked at Eiji "I'm happy for you Eiji. So now, what do you two want to drink and eat?" After ordering, Eiji lead Ash to his regular seat.

"She's a very nice woman and you seem to really like her." Ash said to Eiji. "Yes, I do. She's like a big sister to me and I'm very happy that she likes you." Yuriko brought their order and left knowingly the two would like to enjoy their togetherness.

While looking around the café Ash asked: "Eiji this is a really beautiful café, but why are there so many book shelves?" Eiji looked at him smiling: "That's because it's a book café. You can read them here or lend them and take them home with you. For each book you pay a small self-chosen amount of money, that is donated for the preservation of this building and the shrines. According to legends this house once was the residence of the Fujiwara family. So, it's pretty old but it's still so beautiful because all people that come here want to preserve its beauty." Ash thanked Eiji for his explanation with a kiss sealing his lips, stood up and searched for a book to read. Eiji couldn't help but adore Ash while he was looking through the shelves. As he came back it was Eiji's turn to look for a book to read. As he came back to their seats Ash was already completely absorbed into his book. Eiji adored him for another while before starting to read his own book.

 _The hours passed as the two sat by the window reading their books and drinking coffee and tea. The time flew by so fast that they didn't realize it already became pretty late and dark outside as Ash purposely looked up from his book for the first time since he started reading._

Now Ash adored Eiji for a while until he realized he was being watched and looked up from his book. Eiji noticed Ash's loving gaze and smiled back at his love. Then he said: "Wow, it's already getting dark outside." Ash didn't stop to look at Eiji while he replied: "Yeah, we both really got into reading without realizing that the time flew by really fast. Shall we pay and head home for today?" Eiji nodded and then the two paid their bill and headed out of the café to walk home.

 _It's been getting pretty cold outside, so both of them where happy as they arrived in their flat._

As they got rid of their shoes and coats the two decided to take a nice warm shower to warm up again. In the bathroom they started to undress themselves as Eiji felt a gaze on him. He looked up and saw a devilish gleam in Ash's eyes. Ash slowly got closer to Eiji and still watched him like a predator watched his prey. As he stood in front of him his gaze dropped to Eiji's lips. Eiji felt the air around him becoming hot and vibrant. Ash suddenly cupped Eiji's head and brushed his bottom lip with his thumb. While still staring at Eiji's lips, Ash proceeded to undress Eiji and himself further. As the last garment fell to the floor Ash bent his head down to capture Eiji's lips with his. His warm lips parted Eiji's and then their tongues touched and in this very moment the air around them got galvanic.

Ash lifted Eiji up, carried him in their bedroom in his arms and softly laid him down onto the bed. The sheets felt cold because Eiji's body got already hot because of Ash's kiss. Ash laid down beside Eiji and kissed him again. His kisses were fierce and hot as he pulled Eiji into his arms and ravished his mouth like a marauder. Eiji moaned low in his throat and realized he never wanted anything more than the kisses of this man. The feel of their dancing tongues and Ash's hot, hard body against his own was so incredible that he clutched at his shoulders, desperately wanting to taste more of him.

Their bodies on fire, they ran their hands down their bodies while pressing closer to each other. Eiji ached to touch all of Ash all over again and to gently scrape his nails over his neck and his chest. Ash turned Eiji over on his back and gently kissed his neck. Then he separated his legs with his knee. He licked his fingers to prepare Eiji before entering him. As he entered his moist fingers Eiji hissed with pleasure and flinched. Ash felt his body heat up more at the sight of Eiji enjoying it in front of him. Eiji felt Ash pulling back a little and noticed that he was staring down at him with a powerful hunger that made him burn as those gorgeous body flexed under his hands.

"I will have you.", he said fiercely, his voice possessive. "And I will have you", Eiji said, smiling as he opened his legs wider. Then Ash slowly entered Eiji and started sliding himself in and out. Eiji started to moan in pleasure and as Ash started to thrust harder. He started to join in into Eiji's moaning. They started to feel each other much more than ever. Eiji began to feel Ash in him but also him around Ash and Ash experienced the same feeling. Ash continued to thrust hard into him and kissed Eiji again, swirling his tongue around his, and Eiji continued to enjoy the sweet love.

As they both came it felt like the best experience they ever had. Ash slowly slid out of Eiji and let his body down beside him. They rested for a few minutes while Eiji caressed Ash's back and Ash looked at every millimeter of Eiji's face. Eiji watched Ash watching him but was totally concentrated on his beautiful green eyes and wished he could sink into them because he knew he'd never see anything more beautiful ever again. Then they slowly drifted to sleep.

 _It became morning and both of them slowly awoke through the chirping birds outside the windows._

They looked into each other's eyes, smiled at one another and still felt the pleasure from yesterday's ecstasy. Eiji cuddled up to Ash and rested his head onto his chest. Ash knew the time was the right to finally do what he had in mind for such a long time. "Eiji, please do me a favor and close your eyes. Don't be frightened but I have to move a bit." Eiji looked into Ash's eyes, smiled at him and nodded.

Ash moved a little further to the nightstand and opened the small drawer. Lying right there before his eyes was the small ring box. He took it and moved closer to Eiji again. Then he opened the small box and held it in a way Eiji could easily spot it while still resting on his chest.

"Eiji, I knew from the very first time, back then as I met you in this gang bar, that you're my soul mate. I knew that I could trust you and that I had to protect you at every cost. As I told you yesterday, I'm so thankful that you showed me love and that you made me love myself again. I'm so happy that we could start a new life here, settled down and became happy. I'm glad I came to rest. This one night, as I talked badly about myself because of all the shit that had happened to me… Back then you told me to stop talking badly about myself. As I started to tell you my story and began to cry, you comforted me. Do you remember that I asked you to stay by my side just for now?"

Eiji remained silent, his eyes still closed, he just nodded and listened further to Ash.

"I want to love you, Eiji. I want to love you with every fiber of my body. I want to love you and only you. Eiji Okumura, please open your eyes again." He felt how Eiji's body started to tremble after he had opened his eyes and saw the engagement ring. After some very long seeming seconds Eiji moved away from Ash to face him. Ash took a deep breath, looked Eiji into his eyes and asked: "Will you please stay by my side forever?"

Eiji stared back into Ash's beautiful green eyes and started to cry while nodding his head fast. He clinged to Ash, while his tears ran down on Ash's chest. As he finally calmed down, he looked into Ash's eyes again and replied: "I always wanted to stay by your side. I want to stay with you forever. I want to spend my whole life with you and only you. You're my one and only and I want to love you too."


End file.
